The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs
By Ellen Galinsky
Facilitator: Dr. Sue Eliason
Confidence
What strategies can you suggest to for families to promote and encourage confidence? Why is this important? Relate your response to the book as well as to your real life examples.
33 comments:
Grace Curley
said...
Since we now that childrens' sense of confidence can contribute to their school success and motivation to learn, we as parents and educators must pay close attention to it. Confidence can be a fleeting thing at times , even for adults, so one can imagine the shakiness of it in growing children. I'm certain everyone can recall the confidence they held dear when first they tied their own shoes, without assistance! These momentous occasions are happening daily in the classroom and if we're not present and receptive of them , we may well miss an opportunity for confidence building. Parents and educators should encourage independence and self help whenever possible in order for achievements to be accomplished and confidences to be built; it's often faster and easier for us to just button up their little coats ourselves and hussel them outside but an opportunity would be missed in so doing. I think most parents ( and teachers) also love and use good old sticker charts; visual reminders of goals is a very positive reinforcement for a young child. Awards and trophies are all well and good but day to day, a smile, hug and encouraging words go a long way in building confidence.
Post# 4- Promoting Confidence The first thing that comes to mind when I think about promoting confidence in young children is to provide opportunities for independence. For example, with self- help skills and teaching children to be responsible for themselves. It is important for adults to praise children when they try to dress themselves, clean up their toys and when they show appropriate social skills. We give minimal assistance during snack and lunch routines to empower the children to do things on their own. We provide challenging activities that promote self- esteem and confidence in their abilities to achieve the next level. Our art area is set up so that the children can gather the materials that they need independently. I agree with Megan Gunnar in Chapter 6, who refers to stress in young children and the importance of helping them to “manage challenges but not protecting them from the challenges.” Dressing children for the playground in the winter can be challenging for the staff, but it is a good learning process for children as they learn to button and zip their clothes. A couple years ago there was a discussion between early childhood teachers about the over use of the term, ”Good Job”. Do you feel that we as teachers praise too much? What can we say instead, maybe “Good Work” or “Nice Work”?
I love to watch the children as they master a new skill such as zipping a jacket, pouring milk from a small pitcher, writing their names, or reading a book independently for the first time.
It is so important for children to be given the opprtunity to do things by themselves. During the course of the day, the children in our program put toys away, serve themselves snacks and lunch, zip their jackets, and set up their mats for rest time. The look on a child's face when he/she approaches a teacher to let her know that he/she now knows how to zipper is priceless! "Welcome to the Zipper Club!" I tell them.
Being successful accomplishing a self-help skill can help a child find the confidence to try something new. The child will feel pride and confidence which will give him/her the courage to take risks and try new things.
We encourage our parents to allow their children to try to do things by themselves even if it means taking a little longer to accomplish the activity. The more they practice a skill, the easier it will be for them to do it again.
Right now our children have been reading the story, The Big Green Monster, to teachers, their parents, and to each other. The confidence these children feel when they read each page is amazing. They have now begun reading other books in our Library. (One of the things we do is take photos of the children as they read a story for the first time.) Job well done.
At our center, we work with many college students who are gaining valuable experience working with children. I often hear them praising the kids by saying "Good job!" or "I like what you are wearing!" or Your picture is pretty!" These are all kind words and the teacher assistants mean well, but I think that to build confidence we want to comment on something specific that a child may have been working hard to achieve. For example, "You've been working so hard on writing the letters in your name and now you can do it!" "You must be so proud of yourself!" As teachers, our support and encouragement is important, but children sense when an adult isn't being genuine. Paying attention to specific skills that children are learning and being positive while encouraging children to do things for themselves are ways to help them build self-confidence.
We talk SO much about building confidence in our children! I will use the outdoor classroom as my example. We suggest to parents to be there as a guide for our children and encourage them to explore independently. We encourage parents to TEACH the child and allow the child to LEARN as opposed to always doing for the child. The child needs to opportunity to succeed to feel proud to build confidence. On the climbers talk to the child about “the plan” rather than getting to the top and crying for help, let’s think of how we are going to move our hands and feet to get to the other side. We offer emotional support, but allow the capable child to do it physically themselves. Follows huge cheers and the child is eager to put there climbing skills to work. Such strategies can be put to use in many other areas. Same goes for allowing the new walker to walk up and down the stairs, figure out how to get to the top of the slide, fill up their own sand bucket; be there for guidance and encouragement and praise the accomplishment.
Confidence, as optimum learning, comes from being secure in your environment. Some strategies for promoting confidence are accepting the children for who they are. We may have a preconceived notion of who we want our children to be, but letting them be who they are and supporting them through their discovery of who they are will nurture self confidence. And as an added bonus we will more than likely find out that our children being themselves is a lot more fun and interesting then them being clones of ourselves. Other strategies are that we need to encourage our children to be the best they can be, sometimes children will be very successful and sometimes not so much. When they feel they haven't succeeded it's important that we are understanding and encouraging to them. Mistakes are so important to our children's learning. They shouldn't be made to feel guilty or that you are disappointed in them. Mistakes are part of growing and learning. I think the key is to be supportive and understanding of our children for who they are and what they do. Confidence is extremely important. It is very hard to take any type of risk if we do not have confidence. Risks in preschool may be asking someone to be your friend, trying to write your name, or pretending to read, asking a question, or even telling a teacher that you don't feel well. As an adult, these risks may be going to college, applying for a job, falling in love, standing up for yourself etc. Confidence is important to a child's over all growth in becoming a social and independent child and eventually a social and independent adult.
My first thought when I read this question was the emphasis in our program to be strength based. When talking with parents and families we always focus on a child’s strengths and we can build from there. Looking at the child’s interest and exposing them to as many experiences as possible is a way to build their confidence. In Falmouth we have a recreation center that offers several athletic programs to preschooler’s at a minimum fee. We encourage parents to access this opportunity for their children who may be interested in trying a sport. Learning team work and improving physical skills boosts confidence. It is also useful within the classroom to pair children for work time and play time with children with skills different from theirs. They learn from each other and feel good about sharing. Some of you have talked about children helping each other with zippers etc. this can be extended to playing board games one child knows the game and teaches it to the others or a child who has strong writing skills helping another learn the letters in their name. Recently on the playground one of our very young children had mastered making sand castles from we sand and turning the pail over. When some of the children came and asked me to show them how to do it I told them to ask Zoie to show me. Zoie was very proud to show the other children her mastery of sand castles. There are many ways we can foster confidence in our children.
Reading these posts, I have to agree with the emphasis on focusing on children's strengths and encouraging them in that direction as well as empowering them and encouraging them to be more independent and do (what the are able to) for themselves. We have one child at our center who often asks for help with things that he is more than capable of doing. It is interesting that this child is the youngest in his family and has plenty of hands at home to assist him. When he is at school however, we gently urge him to do simple tasks that we know he is capable of that he sees his peers doing. An example is getting his own coat on. When he first came, he would stand by the door like a statue until someone dressed him! I taught him to flip his coat up over his head and he burst out with the biggest smile exclaiming "I DID IT! I DID IT!!" He showed his parents proudly when they came to get him too. This little act boosted his confidence. For the most part, we are fortunate at our center to have parents who are really on board with this concept of encouraging confidence in their children. There may be some ways however that parents can support the effort to built confidence that they are not aware of. Communication is key between educators and parents. We share in a newsletter and pass on strategies to parents to help them with these things. We share with parents the tools we use in the classroom so that they too can use them at home and there is greater consistency. Consistency is so important. A basic example of this is how we have taught one of our younger children who is non verbal, some basic sign language. We taught Mom as well the signs so that this child can use them at home as well as when he is with us. Healthy confidence is so important to instill in a child. A child lacking confidence believes less of himself and this directly affects learning. This concept is a broad one. I think of the basic skills (like the zipping of a jacket) that encourage independence as well as the stories I've heard of people who grew up without much support or motivation but it was a teacher that they had who took the time to believe in them and give them the confidence they needed to be successful.
Strategies I would suggest to families to encourage confidence would be to build on the child’s interest. I had one mom recently who was very taken back by the fact that her son was “obsessed” with reindeer. (Like this is not normal) I coached the parents to take a special interest in their son’s “obsession.” Oh boy did that fly! The next day it was moose then caribou, then elk...and on and on. The Dad and I joked about his son being the next Jack Hanna. I bet that’s not far from the truth! Instead of this little boys idea being forgotten, he gained so much more confidence and was able to move on to MANY aspects about reindeer which made his learning experience a valid one! The child made new connections by getting feedback on his thinking.
I was just noticing the comment Debbie made about questioning if educators use the term "good work" too much. I do seem to say "nice job" quite a bit when I stop and think about it but I also try to say things to be more specific. For example, if a child is coloring instead of saying "wow, great job coloring!" I will say something like, "I really like the colors you chose for that!" or "I like the way you drew that over there". It is a little thing that I hope shows the child that I am paying attention and seeing what they're working on instead of giving a generic "Nice job" to everyone. Depending on the situation I may say terms like "way to be a good friend!" or "nice sharing!" etc. I find our older kids really enjoy flowery words like "fabulous" and "stupendous" or "amazing". I try to mix those up too......Debbie's question has got me thinking I should check my thesaurus!
I think the part of the book that said it best is "We should do more than help children cope with or tolerate challenges. We need to help them learn to take on challenges...Children who are willing to take on challenges have a growth mindset, seeing their abilities as something they can develop." In our program we encourage young children to develop self-help skills which promote their independence and therefore increase confidence (for example, soap dispensers in the water table help the children learn how to use them at the sink). Once a child has mastered a skill (such as putting on velcro shoes), we encourage them to help a friend, which also builds confidence.
Confidence plays a huge role in encouraging children. I agree with alot of the earlier posts. For a child to be confident about something we as teachers need to encourage them to do things on their own or try new activities. In my class room we are working on kids feeding themselves and drinking from small regular cups instead of sippy cups. The words and actions you say when your trying to help a child accomplish something are so important. If you keep saying great job you can do it and give them a high five or even a hug when they are learning how to do somethinging new will help a child realize that they can do it and give them the confidence to do it. Routine and consistency also comes into play here as well. Children need routine so they can feel comfortable and safe with the people and enviornment around them. So sometimes a simple gesture and nice words from a familiar person is all a child could need to become more confident!
4. What strategies can you suggest to for families to promote and encourage confidence? Why is this important? Relate your response to the book as well as to your real life examples. Confidence can be bolstered by a child’s family most simply by repetitive and varied, unqualified expressions of having confidence in the child by family members. Companion to positive reinforcement of confidence in a child, it is important for a family to not be destructive of child’s confidence by criticism or expressions of disappointment in the child for mistakes or failures, but rather to approach the mistakes and failures as learning experiences, or as things that should not occur but that do not directly reflect on the child’s basic nature; i.e. the action is bad or wrong, but not the child. Family guided experiences through positively reinforced adventures in mistakes and failures are not only important to maintaining confidence, but also to creating a realistic balance of confidence in a child; that is the avoidance of over-confidence. A family can provide crafted and guided real-life, day-by-day opportunities for the child to test and reinforce confidence and to happily learn from mistakes, encouraging the child along the way, and then offer praise and the display pleasure for accomplishment. Daily in our classroom it is a foundation teaching practice that we take great interest in what a child is and does, building confidence by displaying respect for the child as an individual, and by reinforcing the child’s interests and enthusiasms.
I think confidence is partly part of our disposition from the start but that it also can be taught and encouraged by everyone around a person. I always like to watch young children at play; it just amazes me how at such a young age some children can have so much confidence in everything they do while others have practically none. I agree with many of the earlier posts that many adults use the feel good approach by always telling children "good job", "nice job" that as kids get older they hear those phases so much that they have all the confidence in the world becuase they think they always do everything right or you get the child that realizes that those words are said to everyone that they actually start to lose confidence in what they are doing because they realize the not everyone IS doing a good job or nice job. This is when you have to really see the strenghts of each child and build on those with that child. Let them know that what one person is good at another may not be so good at and everyone has their own strenghts. Once we encourage a child to do what they really are good at; they will start to have a real sense of confidence. Sometimes is it the simple things like putting on their coat that they insisted they couldn't do themselves or completing an art project that they thought they would never be able to do or scoring a goal in soccer. What ever their strengths and interests are we need to encourage that and to make sure the parents, that sometimes don't see their kids all day, know what their child is really interested in during day and have them encourage it at home as with the example Pam had about the child with an interest in reindeer. I think by just letting a child decide what their interests are and helping them acheive them is the best thing we can for their confidence because we are telling them it's ok to like and do the things you want to do even though they may not be the things we would choose for them to do.
I strongly agree with many of the above comment. I encourage parents to promote confidence building with their children by encouraging them to speak with their little ones and encourage them to ask open-ended questions about their child's interests. When they catch their little ones playing with a particular object they can ask them questions like, "What is going on or who do you see in the puzzle or book. They can encourage and build confidence by making comments like, "You worked so hard putting that puzzle together, you must be so proud of yourself." The children in my class who seem to be the most confident are the ones with the better language and communication skills and the ones who have the most empathy and caring toward others. Praising children for helping others definatly builds confidence. My class is a mixed age group of 3-5 year olds. Many of the 5 year olds have mastered putting on coats, zipping and pouring milk, serving themselves, etc. We encourage and praise them for helping the little ones with these skills. It builds confidence in them and teaches the little ones these skills from their older peers and promotes team work. I found the comments on encouraging families to build confidence in children by building on children's interests very enlightening. We were talking about the Presidents before our winter break and a book had a picture on of the Grand Canyon. One little boy got so excited and knew alot about the Grand Canyon from his older brother. We told his Mom and encouraged them to go to the library to get more books about the Grand Canyon and bring them back to school. This should be a perfect opportunity to encourage confidence building with this little guy.
The strategies that I would suggest for families to promote and encourage confidence would be look at life as a series of learning experiences and to help promote a child's independence. Many of the previous posts talk about independence and a child's joy at mastering a skill. I always encourage children to try an activity. In reviewing chapter six, I reread the research done by Fox. I thought taking into consideration what type of parent a person is and how the parent deals with life situations could definitely play a role in a child's confidence. The Fox research discussed alarmist and intrusive parents. Galinsky states (p. 277) "I asked Fox how his coders would differentiate between parents who are guiding their children's behavior and parents who are interfering. He says it's a matter of degree - taking over rather than managing a child's stress." I believe that children need to have opportunities to try new things. If children are working on a tricky puzzle I try to encourage their effort by saying something like "Wow, I see that you are really working at that".
In the section that dealt with the Als research I was taken with the "take home message for parents" (p.277) "If we dwell on what the child can't do - the child's inadequacies -those inadequacies will likely proliferate. If we focus on what the child can do - the child's strengths - these will likely be fortified." I have a child in my group who needs a lot of extra support in many areas. I always try to work with the child and raise the bar to encourage him to try new things. I would also encourage parents to take advatage of resources that are available to them. Parenting classes, oppotunities to talk with other parents, and family activities at school are all ways that parents may promote their confidence which may in turn help promote their children's confidence.
Grace and Debbie made me think about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Awards and trophies are all well and good but day to day, a smile, hug and encouraging words go a long way in building confidence. I think “Good Job” is over used. I agree with Alfie Kohn (read the article Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job!" available at http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm) Does praise build confidence? Or as Joanne, Pam, Mary Beth, and Susan suggest: Should we look at praise as feedback and reflect the behavior back to the child? Many of you made me think more about the importance of challenges as a way to take risks and learn new think. Additionally, Lisa stated that we should challenge our assumptions or preconceived notion of others and ourselves. I found Ellen’s idea helpful, as a way to do this. She suggested pairing children for work time and play time with children with skills different from theirs. How often do you challenge your preconceived notions of your abilities? How often do you step outside your comfort zones?
Several years ago, we went from having a three year old room and a four year old room to creating two mixed age classrooms. We found that the children's self-esteem improved more naturally as they learned from each other. The younger children imitated academic and social behaviors that the older children demonstrate on a daily basis. At the same time, the older children were strengthening the skills that they were teaching to the younger children and also developed nurturing behaviors. In the beginning, we encouraged the older children to "teach" their peers, but over time it became a natural process. Transitioning to the mixed age groupings was not an easy process, as many teachers were stepping out of their comfort zones, but it has been a postive change for us all.
One thing I do to help instill pride and confidence is I allow my children to borrow books, not just the ones that are kept at their level to read anytime they want, but the ones I keep up on the shelf. Wen someone asks to borrow one of my books we go over how to take care of it and I remind them that when something is borowed it needs to be returned. When the parents pick up at the end of the day the little ones are so excited that they are borrowing one of my books. They really enjoy the responsibility of being able to bring one of my books home and 'read' it to their parents. When the chld returns the book, they usually come in carryng the book and bring it right over to me with a huge smile, they are so excited that they were given the responsibility to borrow a book and are holdig up their end of the bargain by returning it. This gives them confidence that they were allowed a responsibility and were able to coplete it full circle. Once the book is returned I thank them for bring it back, thank them for taking cre of it and tell them they can borrow another book when they are ready.
How can families promote confidence in their children, and why is it important? Emphasizing that mistakes are good, it is “part of learning”! And, “commenting on the child’s effort and strategies, not his or her personality.” And, fostering “different forms of self expression.” And, of course helping build upon their “Lemonade stand.” These are all key suggestions for promoting confidence in children. However, I believe that Galinsky says it best when she explains that “we teach best when we are practicing what we preach!” I try not let my children see my insecurities- the weight I gained with my pregnancies that I just can’t seem to lose: for a while, I was staying out of pictures. Until I realized the message I was sending, and that I really wanted to have those photographs later, even if I didn’t like how I looked!
One way we promote confidence in the children in our home daycare is by letting everyone help out with different tasks through out the day; though sometimes it is much easier to do the things ourselves. I am always amazed at just how much pride/confidence the children have in completing something we normally would have done ourselves without even thinking about it. They are always so excited to let us know when they have completed the task and can't wait to show us. I love working with a mixed age group because it is so nice to see how much the younger ones really do learn from the older ones. I do like the idea that Ellen mentioned about pair individuals with differnet skills together. This technique would really help strengthen confidence in themselves by being able to assist each other in completing either and activity, a game, or even just basic outside dress; that come easy to one by not the other. I am just wondering what would be better; to pair older with younger, boy with girl, or same age with differnet skills. I would love to hear what others think.
Confidence, I believe, is such an important part of a child's growth and development but truly needs to be handled with care. I have seen in many cases with children whose parents, or caretakers over indulge them with compliments and awards, that they are hurting their children instead of helping them. I believe its very important to give children compliments and praise when they do something good but I also think it is very important for children to be aware that they are not good or perfect at everything they will do, and should not expect an award when they participate in an activity. I find that when children know they aren't good at some things but are good at a different things the children have more confidence and want to achieve and push themselves more in their areas they are good at to further themselves, but have also seen that children want to get better at those things they are not as good at. I think a simple oral phrase like "I really like what you did, (and give a detailed description" Is a much better praise than an award like a toy, sticker chart, or trophy. When they see a smiling happy face giving them praise I truly believe it will stick with them throughout their child and adult hood and remember those important moments instilling confidence as opposed to a toy or trophy.
Like many people have mentioned, encouraging the older children in a group to help the younger ones really instills confidence in the children. Some of the times that the older ones can help the younger ones is when we are moving into a different room or even going outside to the play yard. I partner the older ones with the younger ones to hold hands and help guide them to our new destination. When getting ready to go outside my older ones take pride in getting all the outside gear pulled out and ready for the younger ones, and the older ones do try and help the younger ones ready to go outside... it is kind of funny to see them trying to put on a mittin or jacket on a child that is squirming, but if they are successful it is smiles all around. To help build confidence in the younger ones I will ask them to choose a book or toy and bring it over to the older ones to use, when they get a thank you they are so proud of themselves. Self help skills are also such an important part in building confidence, the first time they are able to put a coat on by flipping it over their head is such a big deal complete with "you did it!" and high fives. At meal time the children are part of getting the table ready by putting out plates and napkins, passing out milks, choosing the vegetables, and most days there is some discussion and sometimes a vote about what they would like for lunch that day. After they eat they are responsible for cleaning up after themselves. These are all things that the parents can carry out at home as well to reinforce the self help skills. By giving the children responsibilities that are manageable but which can be somewhat challenging once the tasks are completed it instills cofidence that "I can do this!".
I agree with Denise's comment that mistakes are good and we learn from our mistakes. This promotes persistance in young children. It begins early with simple block building or putting together those big legos. Many children will try and try again to get it just right for themselves. I love watching my little Kate play with these materials and the smile on her face when she completes these accomplishments is priceless. In our class we always take pictures of these magnificant structures and do slideshows on our computer and the kids are beaming with pride and confidence when they see their structure. We praise them and state, "you must be so proud of yourself for completing that wonderful structure."
I like this quote from the book "Perhaps the children in child care learn to be more comfortable with new experiences and new people. Perhaps they're expected to be more independent." It is very affirming and encouraging to our profession. It suggests that exposure to high-quality childcare can help to instill confidence in young children.
Alexandra, I too read that part of the book, and it made me proud. As we all know, giving the children the confidence to be independent can be trying! I have this one little guy who is the laziest little fellow out there. When I tell you – he allows everyone to do for him – no motivation to do for oneself (just today one of his friends said “come on bud, eat up” and proceed to spoon feed him!) So needless to say not only did he need some work, but mom and dad did too. I offered mom just as much encouragement as the child. Her biggest fault was not giving her child the chance to succeed. He requires more time allotted to a task, and mom was quick to jump in and just get it done. I am happy to say he is potty trained (although mom and dad said it was not going to happen) he can pull up and down his underwear and pants, take off his shoes, un-zip his coat, and so on. He still makes me laugh because he still try’s to work me. After coming in from outdoors, each child undresses themselves of their gear and proceeds to the bathroom then to the lunch table (the ultimate reward for this guy.) Without fail – everyday – he is the last one to ATTEMPT to do this. He just stands there, absolutely still, with puppy eyes. I offer encouragement, praise the efforts before us, and nothing. It is after everyone is gone to the lunch table he will start to try. He needs my attention on him, he needs eye contact, almost like a cheerleader. Maybe it is part of his temperament…(I would like to note, he is 25 months and I am very proud of the accomplishments we have made together)
I liked Lisa’s comment about helping children to be the best they can be. We have many children who love to do art work have their pictures put up on the wall, take their pictures home. This builds up their confidence they’re so proud of what they have done and it’s concrete they can see it. We also have children who are not prolific drawers but rather like to be in the block area building sky scrapers or creating with manipulatives. What we have done for these children is take pictures of their “masterpieces.” In this way we can put their picture on the wall or send it home with their parent. I agree with the other posts that if you take what a child is passion about, encourage them that the child will gain confidence
I also like the Quote from the book that Alexandra mentioned. Children who go to daycare learn to be more comfortable and get attached to different people, rather than being home with one person such as nanny or parent. Children need to learn that is ok to get attached to other people and attending daycare will def. do that. Children learn so many things at daycare where they would not learn at home. They learn a lot of social skills that they will need growing up and we also teach them ways to build confidence. By using simple gestures and warmfelt words could be just what a child needs to gain a little confidence and be comfortable around new people and in new situations.
I am assuming that we have all had our share of not so successful clean up times in our classroom. This time of the day triggers a lot of opportunities for developing confidence. I seem to use a lot of dialog praise during clean up. Example; “ my mom will be so proud of me when I tell her I helped at clean up time” Most children start helping, and talking about their mom or dad being proud of them or the child that says “ You don’t have a mom!” and that starts a new conversation altogether. Another idea I use during clean up is “You be in charge of…” everyone likes to be in charge of something! A child needs to feel he/she is also in control. And being in control boosts confidence levels. I hear children tell their parents how they help others at school. In our older class of children there are everyday jobs that the teacher designates such as Door Holder, Teacher Helper, Line Leader .… again; being in charge of something makes a child feel good about themselves.
In response to Jackie Whitford and the quote from the book that Alexandra mentioned... I think it's really interesting to the confidence that some children have as oppose to others, especially those who have been in early childcare centers from young ages, oppose to staying at home with their parents or nanny. My mom was a stay at home mom and both myself and my brother are slow to warm up to most people. We both have our close groups of friends and we are perfectly happy and content that way but when introduced to knew people we are still to this day slow to warm up and open up to them. I have always wondered if myself and my brother have gone to and early childcare center if we would have been different and have more confidence approaching others. I do strongly believe there is no one better to care for a child than the mother but I also strongly believe that introducing new faces to the child is very important for social skills and to build up confidence that will last a lifetime.
Pam Hanna, I just read your response and I didn't even think of the basic helpers in the classroom that help us as teachers out with daily tasks but also helps build positive confidence. When giving the child a task or helper role they feel good and get a boost of energy and confidence. Its nice to see those children who are seen as "shy" or "slow to warm up" take a role and be responsible for something. You can immediately see their confidence boost. It is also good for those children who are very outgoing. Giving them different roles and having to work with children who may have opposite temperaments than them are a perfect way to have both children gain confidence.
When we have a toddler who is ready to transition to the preschool classroom, the child visits for a short period over the course of several days. This gives the child an opportunity to feel comfortable with a new classroom before making a change. He or she will feel more confident and less anxious about switching classrooms and teachers. We also allow an older child to "help on the little side" in the morning or after rest if they've had a good day. The children love the idea of being helpers and it is another opportunity for interaction between the younger and the older children before a toddler moves up. We also use Pam Hanna's strategy of putting children in charge of different aspects of clean up. Having defined duties gives everyone a role and helps to get the job done quicker and easier. One strategy that I use during circle time or other key times is to point out positive behavior. I will note the children by name who are sitting nicely and usually anyone who is not is quick to do what they should be doing to get recognized. I think this works because everyone has a chance to be acknowledged. They all love the "look at me" attention. The child who receives the initial recognition has the confidence to continue and the child who needs to turn it around has to motivation (hopefully) to do that too.
In addition to what I said before about mistakes being part of learning-
I try to make silly mistakes for the children to correct me, and they laugh and get a kick out of it, but one day I said something like okay now lets wash our feet, and one child asked me very seriously, as if she was truly concerned, "Why do you always forget everything?" I have been a bit more careful not to make too many mistakes each day since then!
33 comments:
Since we now that childrens' sense of confidence
can contribute to their school success and motivation to learn, we as parents and educators must pay close attention to it. Confidence can be a fleeting thing at times , even for adults, so one can imagine the shakiness of it in growing children. I'm certain everyone can recall the confidence they held dear when first they tied their own shoes, without assistance! These momentous occasions are happening daily in the classroom and if we're not present and receptive of them , we may well miss an opportunity for confidence building. Parents and educators should encourage independence and self help whenever possible in order for achievements to be accomplished and confidences to be built; it's often faster and easier for us to just button up their little coats ourselves and hussel them outside but an opportunity would be missed in so doing. I think most parents ( and teachers) also love and use good old sticker charts; visual reminders of goals is a very positive reinforcement for a young child. Awards and trophies are all well and good but day to day, a smile, hug and encouraging words go a long way in building confidence.
Post# 4- Promoting Confidence
The first thing that comes to mind when I think about promoting confidence in young children is to provide opportunities for independence. For example, with self- help skills and teaching children to be responsible for themselves. It is important for adults to praise children when they try to dress themselves, clean up their toys and when they show appropriate social skills. We give minimal assistance during snack and lunch routines to empower the children to do things on their own. We provide challenging activities that promote self- esteem and confidence in their abilities to achieve the next level. Our art area is set up so that the children can gather the materials that they need independently.
I agree with Megan Gunnar in Chapter 6, who refers to stress in young children and the importance of helping them to “manage challenges but not protecting them from the challenges.” Dressing children for the playground in the winter can be challenging for the staff, but it is a good learning process for children as they learn to button and zip their clothes.
A couple years ago there was a discussion between early childhood teachers about the over use of the term, ”Good Job”. Do you feel that we as teachers praise too much? What can we say instead, maybe “Good Work” or “Nice Work”?
I love to watch the children as they master a new skill such as zipping a jacket, pouring milk from a small pitcher, writing their names, or reading a book independently for the first time.
It is so important for children to be given the opprtunity to do things by themselves. During the course of the day, the children in our program put toys away, serve themselves snacks and lunch, zip their jackets, and set up their mats for rest time. The look on a child's face when he/she approaches a teacher to let her know that he/she now knows how to zipper is priceless! "Welcome to the Zipper Club!" I tell them.
Being successful accomplishing a self-help skill can help a child find the confidence to try something new. The child will feel pride and confidence which will give him/her the courage to take risks and try new things.
We encourage our parents to allow their children to try to do things by themselves even if it means taking a little longer to accomplish the activity. The more they practice a skill, the easier it will be for them to do it again.
Right now our children have been reading the story, The Big Green Monster, to teachers, their parents, and to each other. The confidence these children feel when they read each page is amazing. They have now begun reading other books in our Library. (One of the things we do is take photos of the children as they read a story for the first time.) Job well done.
At our center, we work with many college students who are gaining valuable experience working with children. I often hear them praising the kids by saying "Good job!" or "I like what you are wearing!" or Your picture is pretty!" These are all kind words and the teacher assistants mean well, but I think that to build confidence we want to comment on something specific that a child may have been working hard to achieve. For example, "You've been working so hard on writing the letters in your name and now you can do it!" "You must be so proud of yourself!" As teachers, our support and encouragement is important, but children sense when an adult isn't being genuine. Paying attention to specific skills that children are learning and being positive while encouraging children to do things for themselves are ways to help them build self-confidence.
We talk SO much about building confidence in our children! I will use the outdoor classroom as my example. We suggest to parents to be there as a guide for our children and encourage them to explore independently. We encourage parents to TEACH the child and allow the child to LEARN as opposed to always doing for the child. The child needs to opportunity to succeed to feel proud to build confidence. On the climbers talk to the child about “the plan” rather than getting to the top and crying for help, let’s think of how we are going to move our hands and feet to get to the other side. We offer emotional support, but allow the capable child to do it physically themselves. Follows huge cheers and the child is eager to put there climbing skills to work. Such strategies can be put to use in many other areas. Same goes for allowing the new walker to walk up and down the stairs, figure out how to get to the top of the slide, fill up their own sand bucket; be there for guidance and encouragement and praise the accomplishment.
Confidence, as optimum learning, comes from being secure in your environment. Some strategies for promoting confidence are accepting the children for who they are. We may have a preconceived notion of who we want our children to be, but letting them be who they are and supporting them through their discovery of who they are will nurture self confidence. And as an added bonus we will more than likely find out that our children being themselves is a lot more fun and interesting then them being clones of ourselves. Other strategies are that we need to encourage our children to be the best they can be, sometimes children will be very successful and sometimes not so much. When they feel they haven't succeeded it's important that we are understanding and encouraging to them. Mistakes are so important to our children's learning. They shouldn't be made to feel guilty or that you are disappointed in them. Mistakes are part of growing and learning. I think the key is to be supportive and understanding of our children for who they are and what they do. Confidence is extremely important. It is very hard to take any type of risk if we do not have confidence. Risks in preschool may be asking someone to be your friend, trying to write your name, or pretending to read, asking a question, or even telling a teacher that you don't feel well. As an adult, these risks may be going to college, applying for a job, falling in love, standing up for yourself etc. Confidence is important to a child's over all growth in becoming a social and independent child and eventually a social and independent adult.
My first thought when I read this question was the emphasis in our program to be strength based. When talking with parents and families we always focus on a child’s strengths and we can build from there. Looking at the child’s interest and exposing them to as many experiences as possible is a way to build their confidence. In Falmouth we have a recreation center that offers several athletic programs to preschooler’s at a minimum fee. We encourage parents to access this opportunity for their children who may be interested in trying a sport. Learning team work and improving physical skills boosts confidence.
It is also useful within the classroom to pair children for work time and play time with children with skills different from theirs. They learn from each other and feel good about sharing. Some of you have talked about children helping each other with zippers etc. this can be extended to playing board games one child knows the game and teaches it to the others or a child who has strong writing skills helping another learn the letters in their name. Recently on the playground one of our very young children had mastered making sand castles from we sand and turning the pail over. When some of the children came and asked me to show them how to do it I told them to ask Zoie to show me. Zoie was very proud to show the other children her mastery of sand castles. There are many ways we can foster confidence in our children.
Reading these posts, I have to agree with the emphasis on focusing on children's strengths and encouraging them in that direction as well as empowering them and encouraging them to be more independent and do (what the are able to) for themselves. We have one child at our center who often asks for help with things that he is more than capable of doing. It is interesting that this child is the youngest in his family and has plenty of hands at home to assist him. When he is at school however, we gently urge him to do simple tasks that we know he is capable of that he sees his peers doing. An example is getting his own coat on. When he first came, he would stand by the door like a statue until someone dressed him! I taught him to flip his coat up over his head and he burst out with the biggest smile exclaiming "I DID IT! I DID IT!!" He showed his parents proudly when they came to get him too. This little act boosted his confidence. For the most part, we are fortunate at our center to have parents who are really on board with this concept of encouraging confidence in their children. There may be some ways however that parents can support the effort to built confidence that they are not aware of. Communication is key between educators and parents. We share in a newsletter and pass on strategies to parents to help them with these things. We share with parents the tools we use in the classroom so that they too can use them at home and there is greater consistency. Consistency is so important. A basic example of this is how we have taught one of our younger children who is non verbal, some basic sign language. We taught Mom as well the signs so that this child can use them at home as well as when he is with us. Healthy confidence is so important to instill in a child. A child lacking confidence believes less of himself and this directly affects learning. This concept is a broad one. I think of the basic skills (like the zipping of a jacket) that encourage independence as well as the stories I've heard of people who grew up without much support or motivation but it was a teacher that they had who took the time to believe in them and give them the confidence they needed to be successful.
Strategies I would suggest to families to encourage confidence would be to build on the child’s interest. I had one mom recently who was very taken back by the fact that her son was “obsessed” with reindeer. (Like this is not normal) I coached the parents to take a special interest in their son’s “obsession.” Oh boy did that fly! The next day it was moose then caribou, then elk...and on and on. The Dad and I joked about his son being the next Jack Hanna. I bet that’s not far from the truth!
Instead of this little boys idea being forgotten, he gained so much more confidence and was able to move on to MANY aspects about reindeer which made his learning experience a valid one!
The child made new connections by getting feedback on his thinking.
I was just noticing the comment Debbie made about questioning if educators use the term "good work" too much. I do seem to say "nice job" quite a bit when I stop and think about it but I also try to say things to be more specific. For example, if a child is coloring instead of saying "wow, great job coloring!" I will say something like, "I really like the colors you chose for that!" or "I like the way you drew that over there". It is a little thing that I hope shows the child that I am paying attention and seeing what they're working on instead of giving a generic "Nice job" to everyone. Depending on the situation I may say terms like "way to be a good friend!" or "nice sharing!" etc. I find our older kids really enjoy flowery words like "fabulous" and "stupendous" or "amazing". I try to mix those up too......Debbie's question has got me thinking I should check my thesaurus!
I think the part of the book that said it best is "We should do more than help children cope with or tolerate challenges. We need to help them learn to take on challenges...Children who are willing to take on challenges have a growth mindset, seeing their abilities as something they can develop." In our program we encourage young children to develop self-help skills which promote their independence and therefore increase confidence (for example, soap dispensers in the water table help the children learn how to use them at the sink). Once a child has mastered a skill (such as putting on velcro shoes), we encourage them to help a friend, which also builds confidence.
Confidence plays a huge role in encouraging children. I agree with alot of the earlier posts. For a child to be confident about something we as teachers need to encourage them to do things on their own or try new activities. In my class room we are working on kids feeding themselves and drinking from small regular cups instead of sippy cups. The words and actions you say when your trying to help a child accomplish something are so important. If you keep saying great job you can do it and give them a high five or even a hug when they are learning how to do somethinging new will help a child realize that they can do it and give them the confidence to do it. Routine and consistency also comes into play here as well. Children need routine so they can feel comfortable and safe with the people and enviornment around them. So sometimes a simple gesture and nice words from a familiar person is all a child could need to become more confident!
4. What strategies can you suggest to for families to promote and encourage confidence? Why is this important? Relate your response to the book as well as to your real life examples.
Confidence can be bolstered by a child’s family most simply by repetitive and varied, unqualified expressions of having confidence in the child by family members.
Companion to positive reinforcement of confidence in a child, it is important for a family to not be destructive of child’s confidence by criticism or expressions of disappointment in the child for mistakes or failures, but rather to approach the mistakes and failures as learning experiences, or as things that should not occur but that do not directly reflect on the child’s basic nature; i.e. the action is bad or wrong, but not the child.
Family guided experiences through positively reinforced adventures in mistakes and failures are not only important to maintaining confidence, but also to creating a realistic balance of confidence in a child; that is the avoidance of over-confidence.
A family can provide crafted and guided real-life, day-by-day opportunities for the child to test and reinforce confidence and to happily learn from mistakes, encouraging the child along the way, and then offer praise and the display pleasure for accomplishment.
Daily in our classroom it is a foundation teaching practice that we take great interest in what a child is and does, building confidence by displaying respect for the child as an individual, and by reinforcing the child’s interests and enthusiasms.
I think confidence is partly part of our disposition from the start but that it also can be taught and encouraged by everyone around a person. I always like to watch young children at play; it just amazes me how at such a young age some children can have so much confidence in everything they do while others have practically none.
I agree with many of the earlier posts that many adults use the feel good approach by always telling children "good job", "nice job" that as kids get older they hear those phases so much that they have all the confidence in the world becuase they think they always do everything right or you get the child that realizes that those words are said to everyone that they actually start to lose confidence in what they are doing because they realize the not everyone IS doing a good job or nice job. This is when you have to really see the strenghts of each child and build on those with that child. Let them know that what one person is good at another may not be so good at and everyone has their own strenghts. Once we encourage a child to do what they really are good at; they will start to have a real sense of confidence. Sometimes is it the simple things like putting on their coat that they insisted they couldn't do themselves or completing an art project that they thought they would never be able to do or scoring a goal in soccer. What ever their strengths and interests are we need to encourage that and to make sure the parents, that sometimes don't see their kids all day, know what their child is really interested in during day and have them encourage it at home as with the example Pam had about the child with an interest in reindeer. I think by just letting a child decide what their interests are and helping them acheive them is the best thing we can for their confidence because we are telling them it's ok to like and do the things you want to do even though they may not be the things we would choose for them to do.
I strongly agree with many of the above comment. I encourage parents to promote confidence building with their children by encouraging them to speak with their little ones and encourage them to ask open-ended questions about their child's interests. When they catch their little ones playing with a particular object they can ask them questions like, "What is going on or who do you see in the puzzle or book. They can encourage and build confidence by making comments like, "You worked so hard putting that puzzle together, you must be so proud of yourself."
The children in my class who seem to be the most confident are the ones with the better language and communication skills and the ones who have the most empathy and caring toward others. Praising children for helping others definatly builds confidence. My class is a mixed age group of 3-5 year olds. Many of the 5 year olds have mastered putting on coats, zipping and pouring milk, serving themselves, etc. We encourage and praise them for helping the little ones with these skills. It builds confidence in them and teaches the little ones these skills from their older peers and promotes team work.
I found the comments on encouraging families to build confidence in children by building on children's interests very enlightening. We were talking about the Presidents before our winter break and a book had a picture on of the Grand Canyon. One little boy got so excited and knew alot about the Grand Canyon from his older brother. We told his Mom and encouraged them to go to the library to get more books about the Grand Canyon and bring them back to school. This should be a perfect opportunity to encourage confidence building with this little guy.
The strategies that I would suggest for families to promote and encourage confidence would be look at life as a series of learning experiences and to help promote a child's independence. Many of the previous posts talk about independence and a child's joy at mastering a skill. I always encourage children to try an activity. In reviewing chapter six, I reread the research done by Fox. I thought taking into consideration what type of parent a person is and how the parent deals with life situations could definitely play a role in a child's confidence. The Fox research discussed alarmist and intrusive parents. Galinsky states (p. 277) "I asked Fox how his coders would differentiate between parents who are guiding their children's behavior and parents who are interfering. He says it's a matter of degree - taking over rather than managing a child's stress." I believe that children need to have opportunities to try new things. If children are working on a tricky puzzle I try to encourage their effort by saying something like "Wow, I see that you are really working at that".
In the section that dealt with the Als research I was taken with the "take home message for parents" (p.277) "If we dwell on what the child can't do - the child's inadequacies -those inadequacies will likely proliferate. If we focus on what the child can do - the child's strengths - these will likely be fortified." I have a child in my group who needs a lot of extra support in many areas. I always try to work with the child and raise the bar to encourage him to try new things. I would also encourage parents to take advatage of resources that are available to them. Parenting classes, oppotunities to talk with other parents, and family activities at school are all ways that parents may promote their confidence which may in turn help promote their children's confidence.
Grace and Debbie made me think about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Awards and trophies are all well and good but day to day, a smile, hug and encouraging words go a long way in building confidence. I think “Good Job” is over used. I agree with Alfie Kohn (read the article Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job!" available at http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm) Does praise build confidence? Or as Joanne, Pam, Mary Beth, and Susan suggest: Should we look at praise as feedback and reflect the behavior back to the child?
Many of you made me think more about the importance of challenges as a way to take risks and learn new think. Additionally, Lisa stated that we should challenge our assumptions or preconceived notion of others and ourselves. I found Ellen’s idea helpful, as a way to do this. She suggested pairing children for work time and play time with children with skills different from theirs. How often do you challenge your preconceived notions of your abilities? How often do you step outside your comfort zones?
Several years ago, we went from having a three year old room and a four year old room to creating two mixed age classrooms. We found that the children's self-esteem improved more naturally as they learned from each other. The younger children imitated academic and social behaviors that the older children demonstrate on a daily basis. At the same time, the older children were strengthening the skills that they were teaching to the younger children and also developed nurturing behaviors. In the beginning, we encouraged the older children to "teach" their peers, but over time it became a natural process. Transitioning to the mixed age groupings was not an easy process, as many teachers were stepping out of their comfort zones, but it has been a postive change for us all.
One thing I do to help instill pride and confidence is I allow my children to borrow books, not just the ones that are kept at their level to read anytime they want, but the ones I keep up on the shelf. Wen someone asks to borrow one of my books we go over how to take care of it and I remind them that when something is borowed it needs to be returned. When the parents pick up at the end of the day the little ones are so excited that they are borrowing one of my books. They really enjoy the responsibility of being able to bring one of my books home and 'read' it to their parents. When the chld returns the book, they usually come in carryng the book and bring it right over to me with a huge smile, they are so excited that they were given the responsibility to borrow a book and are holdig up their end of the bargain by returning it. This gives them confidence that they were allowed a responsibility and were able to coplete it full circle. Once the book is returned I thank them for bring it back, thank them for taking cre of it and tell them they can borrow another book when they are ready.
How can families promote confidence in their children, and why is it important?
Emphasizing that mistakes are good, it is “part of learning”! And, “commenting on the child’s effort and strategies, not his or her personality.” And, fostering “different forms of self expression.” And, of course helping build upon their “Lemonade stand.” These are all key suggestions for promoting confidence in children. However, I believe that Galinsky says it best when she explains that “we teach best when we are practicing what we preach!” I try not let my children see my insecurities- the weight I gained with my pregnancies that I just can’t seem to lose: for a while, I was staying out of pictures. Until I realized the message I was sending, and that I really wanted to have those photographs later, even if I didn’t like how I looked!
One way we promote confidence in the children in our home daycare is by letting everyone help out with different tasks through out the day; though sometimes it is much easier to do the things ourselves. I am always amazed at just how much pride/confidence the children have in completing something we normally would have done ourselves without even thinking about it. They are always so excited to let us know when they have completed the task and can't wait to show us. I love working with a mixed age group because it is so nice to see how much the younger ones really do learn from the older ones.
I do like the idea that Ellen mentioned about pair individuals with differnet skills together. This technique would really help strengthen confidence in themselves by being able to assist each other in completing either and activity, a game, or even just basic outside dress; that come easy to one by not the other. I am just wondering what would be better; to pair older with younger, boy with girl, or same age with differnet skills. I would love to hear what others think.
Confidence, I believe, is such an important part of a child's growth and development but truly needs to be handled with care. I have seen in many cases with children whose parents, or caretakers over indulge them with compliments and awards, that they are hurting their children instead of helping them. I believe its very important to give children compliments and praise when they do something good but I also think it is very important for children to be aware that they are not good or perfect at everything they will do, and should not expect an award when they participate in an activity. I find that when children know they aren't good at some things but are good at a different things the children have more confidence and want to achieve and push themselves more in their areas they are good at to further themselves, but have also seen that children want to get better at those things they are not as good at. I think a simple oral phrase like "I really like what you did, (and give a detailed description" Is a much better praise than an award like a toy, sticker chart, or trophy. When they see a smiling happy face giving them praise I truly believe it will stick with them throughout their child and adult hood and remember those important moments instilling confidence as opposed to a toy or trophy.
Like many people have mentioned, encouraging the older children in a group to help the younger ones really instills confidence in the children. Some of the times that the older ones can help the younger ones is when we are moving into a different room or even going outside to the play yard. I partner the older ones with the younger ones to hold hands and help guide them to our new destination. When getting ready to go outside my older ones take pride in getting all the outside gear pulled out and ready for the younger ones, and the older ones do try and help the younger ones ready to go outside... it is kind of funny to see them trying to put on a mittin or jacket on a child that is squirming, but if they are successful it is smiles all around. To help build confidence in the younger ones I will ask them to choose a book or toy and bring it over to the older ones to use, when they get a thank you they are so proud of themselves. Self help skills are also such an important part in building confidence, the first time they are able to put a coat on by flipping it over their head is such a big deal complete with "you did it!" and high fives. At meal time the children are part of getting the table ready by putting out plates and napkins, passing out milks, choosing the vegetables, and most days there is some discussion and sometimes a vote about what they would like for lunch that day. After they eat they are responsible for cleaning up after themselves. These are all things that the parents can carry out at home as well to reinforce the self help skills. By giving the children responsibilities that are manageable but which can be somewhat challenging once the tasks are completed it instills cofidence that "I can do this!".
I agree with Denise's comment that mistakes are good and we learn from our mistakes. This promotes persistance in young children. It begins early with simple block building or putting together those big legos. Many children will try and try again to get it just right for themselves. I love watching my little Kate play with these materials and the smile on her face when she completes these accomplishments is priceless. In our class we always take pictures of these magnificant structures and do slideshows on our computer and the kids are beaming with pride and confidence when they see their structure. We praise them and state, "you must be so proud of yourself for completing that wonderful structure."
I like this quote from the book "Perhaps the children in child care learn to be more comfortable with new experiences and new people. Perhaps they're expected to be more independent." It is very affirming and encouraging to our profession. It suggests that exposure to high-quality childcare can help to instill confidence in young children.
Alexandra, I too read that part of the book, and it made me proud. As we all know, giving the children the confidence to be independent can be trying! I have this one little guy who is the laziest little fellow out there. When I tell you – he allows everyone to do for him – no motivation to do for oneself (just today one of his friends said “come on bud, eat up” and proceed to spoon feed him!) So needless to say not only did he need some work, but mom and dad did too. I offered mom just as much encouragement as the child. Her biggest fault was not giving her child the chance to succeed. He requires more time allotted to a task, and mom was quick to jump in and just get it done. I am happy to say he is potty trained (although mom and dad said it was not going to happen) he can pull up and down his underwear and pants, take off his shoes, un-zip his coat, and so on. He still makes me laugh because he still try’s to work me. After coming in from outdoors, each child undresses themselves of their gear and proceeds to the bathroom then to the lunch table (the ultimate reward for this guy.) Without fail – everyday – he is the last one to ATTEMPT to do this. He just stands there, absolutely still, with puppy eyes. I offer encouragement, praise the efforts before us, and nothing. It is after everyone is gone to the lunch table he will start to try. He needs my attention on him, he needs eye contact, almost like a cheerleader. Maybe it is part of his temperament…(I would like to note, he is 25 months and I am very proud of the accomplishments we have made together)
I liked Lisa’s comment about helping children to be the best they can be. We have many children who love to do art work have their pictures put up on the wall, take their pictures home. This builds up their confidence they’re so proud of what they have done and it’s concrete they can see it. We also have children who are not prolific drawers but rather like to be in the block area building sky scrapers or creating with manipulatives. What we have done for these children is take pictures of their “masterpieces.” In this way we can put their picture on the wall or send it home with their parent.
I agree with the other posts that if you take what a child is passion about, encourage them that the child will gain confidence
I also like the Quote from the book that Alexandra mentioned. Children who go to daycare learn to be more comfortable and get attached to different people, rather than being home with one person such as nanny or parent. Children need to learn that is ok to get attached to other people and attending daycare will def. do that. Children learn so many things at daycare where they would not learn at home. They learn a lot of social skills that they will need growing up and we also teach them ways to build confidence. By using simple gestures and warmfelt words could be just what a child needs to gain a little confidence and be comfortable around new people and in new situations.
I am assuming that we have all had our share of not so successful clean up times in our classroom. This time of the day triggers a lot of opportunities for developing confidence. I seem to use a lot of dialog praise during clean up. Example; “ my mom will be so proud of me when I tell her I helped at clean up time” Most children start helping, and talking about their mom or dad being proud of them or the child that says “ You don’t have a mom!” and that starts a new conversation altogether.
Another idea I use during clean up is “You be in charge of…” everyone likes to be in charge of something! A child needs to feel he/she is also in control. And being in control boosts confidence levels. I hear children tell their parents how they help others at school. In our older class of children there are everyday jobs that the teacher designates such as Door Holder, Teacher Helper, Line Leader .… again; being in charge of something makes a child feel good about themselves.
In response to Jackie Whitford and the quote from the book that Alexandra mentioned... I think it's really interesting to the confidence that some children have as oppose to others, especially those who have been in early childcare centers from young ages, oppose to staying at home with their parents or nanny. My mom was a stay at home mom and both myself and my brother are slow to warm up to most people. We both have our close groups of friends and we are perfectly happy and content that way but when introduced to knew people we are still to this day slow to warm up and open up to them. I have always wondered if myself and my brother have gone to and early childcare center if we would have been different and have more confidence approaching others. I do strongly believe there is no one better to care for a child than the mother but I also strongly believe that introducing new faces to the child is very important for social skills and to build up confidence that will last a lifetime.
Pam Hanna, I just read your response and I didn't even think of the basic helpers in the classroom that help us as teachers out with daily tasks but also helps build positive confidence. When giving the child a task or helper role they feel good and get a boost of energy and confidence. Its nice to see those children who are seen as "shy" or "slow to warm up" take a role and be responsible for something. You can immediately see their confidence boost. It is also good for those children who are very outgoing. Giving them different roles and having to work with children who may have opposite temperaments than them are a perfect way to have both children gain confidence.
When we have a toddler who is ready to transition to the preschool classroom, the child visits for a short period over the course of several days. This gives the child an opportunity to feel comfortable with a new classroom before making a change. He or she will feel more confident and less anxious about switching classrooms and teachers. We also allow an older child to "help on the little side" in the morning or after rest if they've had a good day. The children love the idea of being helpers and it is another opportunity for interaction between the younger and the older children before a toddler moves up. We also use Pam Hanna's strategy of putting children in charge of different aspects of clean up. Having defined duties gives everyone a role and helps to get the job done quicker and easier.
One strategy that I use during circle time or other key times is to point out positive behavior. I will note the children by name who are sitting nicely and usually anyone who is not is quick to do what they should be doing to get recognized. I think this works because everyone has a chance to be acknowledged. They all love the "look at me" attention. The child who receives the initial recognition has the confidence to continue and the child who needs to turn it around has to motivation (hopefully) to do that too.
In addition to what I said before about mistakes being part of learning-
I try to make silly mistakes for the children to correct me, and they laugh and get a kick out of it, but one day I said something like okay now lets wash our feet, and one child asked me very seriously, as if she was truly concerned, "Why do you always forget everything?" I have been a bit more careful not to make too many mistakes each day since then!
Post a Comment